Left and Leaving – The Weakerthans
My city’s still breathing (but barely it’s true)
through buildings gone missing like teeth.
The sidewalks are watching me think about you,
sparkled with broken glass.
I’m back with scars to show.
Back with the streets I know.
Will never take me anywhere but here.
The stain in the carpet, this drink in my hand,
the strangers whose faces I know.
We meet here for our dress-rehearsal to say “I wanted it this way”
wait for the year to drown.
Spring forward, fall back down.
I’m trying not to wonder where you are.
All this time lingers, undefined.
Someone choose who’s left and who’s leaving.
Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave me:
a blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest,
the best parts of Lonely, duct-tape and soldered wires,
new words for old desires,
and every birthday card I threw away.
I wait in 4/4 time.
Count yellow highway lines that you’re relying on to lead you home.
This is my angsty life is changing soon song. Reminds me of taking off for Ottawa for my undergrad. I guess things have changed quite a lot in the past five years, lots of tears of many kinds…and many more friends I’m lucky to have. I’d like to think I’m a little more mature and a little less naive than when I left for my undergrad. Life’s gotten in the way of me writing quite a bit, but this year has been wonderful, just what I needed and not at all what I expected. I was lucky enough to be escorted on a day trip to Fort Providence on the Mackenzie river, it was a lovely sunny day, and we saw some bison and their babies which we were tempted to kid nap. Too bad they grow up into the largest land mammals in North America.
Existential crisis?
Inuvik for work on Monday, never been, should be interesting. Last day of work on July 6th, Calgary the next day, stampede weekend at Grandmas. Ottawa then for catching up with friends, a quick trip to Montreal, then Greece and Turkey and finally ending up back in Toronto. Can’t wait. University of Victoria for law in September. A little nervous about my choice, although I think it is the right one. Toronto and all it’s busyness was tempting, and being accepted at U of T was pretty great. Nevertheless, I’m sure Victoria will fit me.
For now I’ll just enjoy the late night sunshine streaming through my windows and the unexpected turn in my life.
onemorecupofcoffee 